How I found people-pleasing indeed not a bad thing
IBeing nice and kind with people gives me immense happiness. I strive for peace in relationships, and sacrificing is one of my traits. I listen to the problems of others intently and take lot of efforts in going above and beyond for others.
Some people are easy to please; a simple spontaneous smile and an amiable gesture would make them happy. And brightening up someone’s day makes me happy. But with some other people, it is not so easy. And when someone is angry with me, it is indeed a great hit for me.
Can others give the love that I so much desire? Is people-pleasing only the surefire way to be a good person? And why I am being so inclined towards this behavior with childlike joy? Is my attitude of making others happy in childhood still manifesting itself in the adulthood?? Is sacrificing my happiness for others so that they remain happy accepted by them?
While thinking good of others is a noble act, it should not go overboard. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup. My excessive care for my near and dear ones should not make them feel uncomfortable. I slowly started realizing that people who care for me don’t want me to lose my happiness for the sake of their happiness.
Instead of negatively labeling my people-pleasing behavior, I know that people still like me. There is no wrong in trying to make people happy, but the problem arises only when I expect something in return. Just as I am nice with others, I cannot expect others to reciprocate it. And them not being okay with me necessarily doesn’t mean that they don’t like me.
A lot has been discussed about the several problems of wanting to please people excessively. But I elaborate on it saying that even the most balanced person sometimes need the validation of others. The key is not becoming disappointed when someone doesn’t reciprocate your nicety and not being stressed through people pleasing. Trying to make a difference in others’ lives is a great thing and that only shows my empathy and compassion towards others. After all, focusing on the good only makes the good better.