Being lavish in appreciation and discreet in criticism

  • You have a WhatsApp voice call. The call goes on well without any network problem. Then the rating button is shown.
  • Your team member does a good job after consistent efforts. And you too know that.
  • The movie that you had watched last night was superb. You enjoyed it thoroughly.
  • Your wife had cooked a wonderful dinner and you learn from her that she had taken lot of efforts for it.
  • What will you do in such instances? There are chances that you won’t give abundant appreciation. The critic in you is so pampered that you hesitate to recognize the efforts of the person who had really done a great job. You may think that if you appreciate, the person will become overconfident which will hinder his/her progress. But I have a different perspective here.

Appreciation boosts morale

I am not wrong if I say that we all have the relentless desire to be appreciated for our good work. When someone appreciates us, it boosts our spirit and we will continue doing good work. Appreciation can even make the day of a person. For example, when an employee who has been constantly putting efforts in his/her work doesn’t get appreciated, then there are chances that he/she becomes vexed. This may even lead to underperformance. Good leadership involves appreciating the excellence in others. You will even develop the temperament to stay longer in the company if you are appreciated whole-heartedly.

It is not that appreciation should be given only when the result is perfect

Most of us may be of the opinion that appreciation should be provided only at the final stage when everything is done perfectly. However, what about the constant patting on the back and recognition of work even when the person is attempting to get the job done? There is no need to filter our thoughts regarding appreciation. It takes only a little time to say, “Hey, you have done a wonderful job. Keep doing your best,” “Way to go” or even “I see the efforts you have made.  You are improving a lot” when the person is showing steady progress. After all, never discourage a person who is making slow but continual progress.

Appreciation needn’t be big gifts

Sometimes we have a preconceived notion that appreciating others should involve giving them huge gifts and not simple ones. It’s okay. Even if you say a small word of appreciation for the good work done by your child, then it will go a long way in making him/her do good work.

 Why don’t people appreciate?

Now that we have seen the importance of appreciation, lets see why people don’t have the intention to appreciate.

  • In the case of adults, they think that the former doesn’t need encouragement/appreciation. Sometimes we have a notion that only children need to be patted on the back so that they grow. Once they attain a certain age, we think that they should be thick-skinned, learn by themselves and so on. But at any stage of life, everyone needs appreciation in life.
  • They may think that appreciation will lead to overconfidence. But that is not the case. If you sincerely appreciate the good work of a person, the latter will feel happy and continue working well. In case of children, you can always teach them how to be balanced and face life with equanimity.
  • They may confuse between appreciation and flattery. But genuine appreciation always stands tall.

Take-home message

For things that are really helpful for the growth of others, you can always appreciate. Make the other person happy for their achievements. All said, appreciation should not be the driving force for a person to do a task. This analysis is done for just understanding why we get upset when others don’t appreciate us. Otherwise, keep doing your best and the rest will follow. If someone always appreciates you efforts, cherish them. Yes, a person’s most wanted emotional need is appreciation, and it is the most revered one when done properly. And when someone appreciates us, let us live by our expectations.

Don’t keep your appreciation a secret. Let is shine and let the receiving person flourish. After all, be lavish in your appreciation, and discreet in your criticism.

The key is in you should be genuine in your appreciation. Appreciation can even be a simple and understanding smile at the right time. Do not postpone appreciation speeches for your employees and even don’t make your children desire for it more. Appreciate people at the right time so that it can also pave the way to better communication.

2 Thoughts to “Being lavish in appreciation and discreet in criticism”

  1. preethi Ramkumar

    Very true , how appreciation is important to boost up self confidence and self identity.
    Like the article.Its keeps the transition smooth and bonds relationship.

  2. Kalpana

    Very good topic, happy you took this. The power of a genuine appreciation is mostly underestimated.

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