Why do we make the same mistakes again and again?
To err is human is a quote that comes to the rescue when we make mistakes. But the question is: why we commit the same mistakes again and again? What is the psychology behind it? Now lets do some in-depth analysis on this.
The mistake is not considered serious enough to be rectified
Suppose you are a person who always talks too much without listening to the opinion of other people. You also want to be the cynosure of all eyes in your conversation. You just keep doing this mistake and haven’t learnt a lesson from it. Or there are also situations wherein as a student you spend sleepless nights learning the lessons. Here, you aim to pass in the exam overtakes your need to take care of your health.
Let us take the example of Suma. She always spends money luxuriously and doesn’t understand the importance of it. But still her parents who on one side scold her, gives money to her whenever she asks. The key is that Suma has not had a chance to learn from her mistake. She just considers her mistakes as ordinary experiences of life.
The crux of this point is you haven’t learnt a big lesson from your mistake and don’t consider it serious enough to be corrected. It may also be attributed to one’s perception. Spending money lavishly is not considered as something wrong by Suma.
Obsession with ego
Whether ego is good or bad is perhaps one of the most discussed topics in the world. Well, while definitely being too much self-centered is not good, you have your own knowledge of your value and importance. When you stand for a cause and when you gain accolades for good works done, then your ego is boosted. However, when we are self-centered in such a way that it leads to narcissism, then it is high time that you consider working on it.
Now coming to the point, when the ego leads to narcissism, we start justifying our mistakes and defend ourselves. We may even repeat the same mistake again and again without heeding to the words of others. The drawback is that we will not shoulder the responsibility for our mistakes; instead we are tempted to justify it. We don’t want to accept that we have indeed committed a mistake, and the chain takes some time to stop.
So what can I do to stop making mistakes again and again?
Well, be kind to yourself. Understand why the negative patterns in your life were created and why do you commit the same mistakes again and again. Don’t be too much carried away by the protective mechanism that pampers your ego. Besides, take steps to stop doing things when you are anxious and nervous. Your negative patterns will rule you when you are anxious, so give time for relaxation. Anxiety blinds your reasoning power too.
In this fast-paced world, I can understand when you say that you don’t like to do self-assessment. But still it is a good idea to do it. First of all, start by understanding your triggers. For example, if you don’t follow a diet when you are supposed to and if you have the temptation of spending excessively, then try to make out what is driving you to do that. For example, I had the habit of buying certain things, even though they are unwanted, whenever I go out. Later I assessed the real situation and after a bit of introspection, I have cut down on spending too much on unwanted and luxurious items.
Take care and lead a stress-free life.