How to overcome taking things personally
Lets say my manager has assigned a work for me which has to be completed by end of today and I am doing that slowly. I know that I will complete the work because I have set a fixed time for every task, but the manager may not know. She checks up now and then to see whether I am in the verge of completing the work. How do I take it?
Lets suppose you and your friend are planning to meet for a long time. You have been make great plans for that big day. At the last minute, your friend calls you and tells sorry that we cannot make it this time. How do you take it?
Lets suppose you have done a great piece of drawing with lot of efforts. When you show it to others, one person gives a negative comment. How do you take it?
Lets suppose you are having a blog space like me and write genuine blogs But there is no sign of engagement. How do you take it?
Lets suppose you have put your heart and soul on a project, but in spite of understanding the efforts of your work, the management has only negative comments to give. How do you take it?
It is easier said than done when I say that don’t take things personally. And this is more difficult for those who invest lot of energy and time in doing a perfect work and when someone criticizes them. In this blog post, here I am to help you with all that I have gone through regarding taking things personally and hence introduce a piece of my peace of mind to you.
As jittery as I way earlier and even people named me so, now I have become partially tranquil. There is a vast change in my approach towards life. I used to wonder what made me change so much. And the result of the contemplation is the below list:
This too shall pass – the golden philosophy of life
This philosophy can be divided into small sections. First, I just learned to observe what is happening around me without being overtly emotional when someone criticizes me. That was indeed a difficult task, being the perfectionist as I am. But with the passage of time, I adopted the habit of serenity which is very much liked by me but was elusive to me due to several reasons.
Then I learned to ask a couple of questions when something negative is told about me. I first ask the question: Is it really truthful? Is it helpful to me in any way? Then I leave the situation as it is without immediately trying to change myself. I just become kind with myself and let that situation take rest for some time.
Being busy is a blessing
I used to take things so personally and later adopted the philosophy of being too busy with my work that I don’t have the frame of mind to think about negative criticism. I have also noted that when I was idle it looked like the whole day is dragging and I haven’t come out of the mess of obsession with why they criticized me. When I put my efforts in doing something that I like and learning to appreciate myself, then the negativity in other’s comments won’t distract me. And the best part is the appreciation of others will give the much-needed solace to me. I call it as filling the gap with productivity.
Boost the confidence in you
In the first example, it becomes necessary to enhance your confidence level. The manager may not know that you will complete the work within the given time, but it is up to you to increase your confidence level and complete the work accordingly. Maintain the spirit that you can really complete the work within the given time.
Don’t suffer due to the negative feedback of others
Remember that most of the times others criticize you only with the limited understanding of what they know about you. For this, you needn’t suffer because you know about your strengths and weaknesses well. You have carefully moulded your life in such a way that it is becoming a place of peace. And will you spoil it just because of taking things personally?
Tell out your concern
Even after trying not to bother about what other people say about you, you still take take things personally, then have the courage to speak up. For example, in the case of not being appreciated for your good work in the project, ask the manager why they have not recognized your good performance. But ensure that you don’t play the blame game here.
Now I am quite at peace with myself because I have learnt that becoming jittery by taking things personally will help me in no way. My lesson may help you too. And yes, can you share your mastery over taking things personally?
2 Thoughts to “How to overcome taking things personally”
Wonderful concept!!! I would always say that no one has a good choice or no one has a bad choice, it is all about having a sense of likeness for some particular thing and criticizing others’ liking always leads to disappoint and taking things personally. Never be judgemental and always learn to accept differences. Appreciate people who take efforts to improve themselves. And most important if you can’t tell anything good, atleast try not to tell anything bad either….and always guys , we must know our potential and never depend on others for appreciation. Work deligently and enjoy your success by celebrating in different ways… also most powerful mantra ….do not accept anything from anyone….you will always find yourself in peace… because expectation is what opens the door to take-things-personally character adoption.