Difference between love and attachment: Are they interconnected?

Attachment is one of the most discussed words in the psychology world. I have been hearing people saying when you are attached to a person to a great extent it causes lot of pain. But somehow I don’t get the full essence of the statement. They say, “If you are too much attached to someone, then you will not be able to bear their separation. So try to maintain a detached outlook towards life.” There is a school of thought that says the following: Attachment causes pain. Pain causes depression.

The seriousness of this statement was to a reasonable degree relevant to me when my dear father passed away. But after his death, I was not pushed into depression such that I failed to do my responsibilities. On the contrary, I moved along with life though the pain of losing my father still lingered. True love helps you to have a realized mind and do things with equanimity.

What is attachment?

In psychology, attachment is the emotional bonds between individuals. When this bond becomes huge such that it leads to depression and anxiety, it is a thing of concern. If you consider suffering as a part of growing, which is something essential for your life, you won’t be pushed to the throes of depression. The strange part here is that you will learn about the significance of the suffering only after it has happened.

In my case, having excessive love towards my father was not considered something that will have a strong emotional hit on me when he passed away because the outcome of true love will always give you the best results. I just took life as it came in my way and considered a reasonable degree of attachment (a feeling of love towards my near and dear ones) as normal. I never forecasted that I will experience grief with the loss of my father; I just flowed with life. Time had her unique way of showing the separation of my father, and here I am, still having beautiful memories of my time with him.

Emotional attachments are part and parcel of human bonds. We get emotional support from family and friends, but there should be a profound realization attached to it. When this attachment becomes excessive and when we are not able to cope with their absence, it becomes unhealthy.

Take-home message

Enduring love depends on healthy attachment to grow. That said, let us not be too detached that we fail to enjoy the blessing of life. Love is what binds us, and let us show it to our near and dear ones. Let us empathize with everyone’s sufferings and realize that there is more beauty in giving. The happiness we gain through a purposeful life can be the result of showing true love.