How do I become a better version of myself: Avoid negative self-labelling

I enthusiastically looked at the chocolate cake. It looked so delicious that I was tempted to eat it. However, I heard a voice from the inside, “Stop eating the cake! You are fat lady!”  I immediately diverted my attention from it. And self-bullying definitely did its work. I was hurt by my negative labeling.

Stop bullying yourself!

There is always the inner critic in you that will expose how bad you are at something. This critic is sometimes so powerful that it will lead us to think that we are good-for-nothing, fat, impatient, unlikeable, irritable, unworthy etc. What all adjectives! The best way to stop self-bullying is to pose a straightforward question to yourself: Do you deserve this negative self-label?

Don’t be obsessed with perfectionism

Sometimes, the drive towards perfectionism will make you feel weaker when you didn’t do your best. You will immediately label yourself as a failure in life. In fact, you tried your best but couldn’t succeed because you had limited knowledge. Realize that you are in the learning process and nothing will happen in a fortnight. Perfectionism is a hard taskmaster.  It will make you work like crazy, and you will end up thinking that you are worthless if you didn’t achieve your set target. And there is a thin line of demarcation between doing your best and achieving your expectations. So all you can do is to keep doing your best.

Be kind to yourself

If you are not kind to yourself, then it is easy for others/external factors to domineer you. Don’t bully yourself so much that you lose your self-confidence. Making mistakes and being a failure in life is not a grave mistake. If you are a failure in life, that’s because you made decisions at that stage with limited knowledge. Self-sabotagnig is a harmful behavior which will eventually stop you from what you want to be in life. I know a person who always thinks that she is having anxiety problems and magnifies it, which is absolutely not needed. Sometimes, labeling ourselves with a negative adjective will give an illusion that we are stuck in it and there is no way in coming out of it. However, if we consciously take efforts to remove these labels from us, and just do our duty diligently, then everything will follow.

Take-home message

Don’t be immersed in a single label. Look from different perspectives and find the real you, who will create a separate page in history. “I am what I am” is definitely true, but let that show multiple traits of you. Don’t be obstinate such that your self-bullying nature limits your potential. There are different dimensions to you that add to your worth. Embrace them gracefully.


3 Thoughts to “How do I become a better version of myself: Avoid negative self-labelling”

  1. Hema

    Well expressed . Take home message, excellent.

  2. Kalpana

    Beautifully expressed :). “I am enough” is a very powerful statement if one say & feel it.

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