Have you felt a guilty feeling when someone, that too those who are dear to you, asks you something but you are not in a position to do it? I have faced it. And I will accept that this is indeed a difficult situation, more so because I have been living with the thought that it is important to say yesalways so that we are in their good books. But again, have you thought of the result when you accept just to please them? Deep inside your heart, you feel why I have done so? Will I be able to do this when I have other priorities and when my health condition is not good? Yes, this is where I thought I should improve myself. And from then on, I decided to think from this angle.

Those who value my relationship will definitely understand the meaning behind saying “no”.

Yes, and if I deny someone’s request in a cordial manner, making them understand that I am not in a position to help them, there are chances of their better understanding.

Lets take these examples.

• Your office staff have decided to collect money for your colleague’s wedding. However, you want to give the gift separately. You can very well let the in-charge person understand your sentiments. You are not doing anything wrong by giving the gift separately.
• You have been asked by your senior to do a task after work hours. You generally go the extra mile, but that specific day you are going out on an important task. You can very well deny cordially saying your current priority.
• You generally don’t go out on Sundays because you want to take complete rest. When your friends ask you to come out, you can say that openly. Chances are that they still value your relationship and plan for meeting after work hours on a week day.

Your main idea behind saying no is that it might ruin your good friendship or a strong relationship. But it needn’t be so. When you know your priorities, value your relationships, but still cant say “yes” sometimes, the real ones will definitely understand. And that is what matters at the end of the day. If you say with words like “sadly I have some other job at hand”, “I am really glad you asked me to do this work..” or a cordial yet powerful “I am not working on anything else right now”,  people will really understand. After all, everyone is facing the same problem, and who knows, they may even take a leaf out of your book!