“When you have pain within you the first thing you have to do is bring the energy of mindfulness to embrace the pain. ‘I know you are there, little anger, my old friend. Breathe – I am taking care of you now.’ You will be able to look deeply at the true nature of your anger. This discovery, this understanding, this wisdom will liberate you from your pain.”

It may be too early to write this blog since I have a long life ahead (isn’t that called optimism?) but another thought made me to engage in it. Why not celebrate myself at every phase of life? Why not assess my personal growth in a span of 5 years?  The greatest feeling one can get is seeing his/her growth. And that’s the very trigger of this blog.

How anger affected me

Do you think there is anything wrong in getting angry? Sometimes, we may even end up in showing righteous anger. However, how we handle anger is what that should be the main focus. We all get angry for several reasons. But the way we show it is the differentiating factor. Some of the reasons for your anger include:

• No recognition for our good work
• When someone provokes us to the core
• When we are faced with financial challenges
• Stress at work leading to anger
• When people, especially our near and dear ones don’t understand our anxiety and fears
• When our unfulfilled expectations on others disappoint us

Well, now that I listed the different reasons for anger, I would also wish to explain how three aspects helped in anger management.

Mindfulness

When I used to get angry, the after effect was cruel on me. The feeling of guilt that I got angry and the following feeling that I don’t deserve it drove me to start practicing mindfulness. Sooner, whenever I was provoked, instead of venting out my anger impulsively, I started pausing for some time. I even started to realize the triggers of anger soon and controlled myself at the initial stages. But when I had to be angry for the righteous reasons, I didn’t become hypersensitive; instead made my point clear in a well-thought manner.

Optimism

Whenever I got angry my instinct told me that “I am not that”. Though philosophical it may sound, this helped me a lot. I started working on the realization and started repeating positive thoughts. As told earlier, the fear of feeling guilty helped me find peace with my true nature. And this made me realize that my true self is one that is attached to serenity. My optimistic attitude made me more resistant to stress which leads to anger.

Never-give-up attitude

By practicing mindfulness, I began to embrace optimism more than ever. And this optimistic attitude encouraged me to never give up. Don’t you see all these three aspects are interrelated?  The more and more I began to control unwanted anger, the more and more optimistic I became thereby not giving up on my efforts.  The lesson of life is that external factors may provoke you to become angry, but you should be strong enough to control it. And when I realized that my true nature is serenity I started controlling my anger. Now this anger management has become a lifesaver of me; it would be great if it becomes a typical trait of me.